marriage trauma 1

Today I will tell you a real tragic and interesting story of one of my colleague। I am not going to write his real name for sake of his privacy। Yash was the elder son of his family। He completed his diploma in computer science and was waiting for someone to tell him what to do next। Or probably he was waiting for a turn in life. Being a easy going guy, he always welcomed whatever life gave him. As a normal human, he had an affair in diploma and again as a normal human it broke up. But this breakup was not so normal since it was the firs one. It ended just before a point that is called marriage. He was touchy so it took some time, more than normal to come out of the trauma he was in. Then he joined a computer-coaching institute, not to teach but to study. He made some bus driver friends and started enjoying life with them. He learnt driving too. By the time he completed his computer course, he got a job in a prestigious MNC. Every thing was again normal. Here I met him. We became good friends because we had some common habits and common simple thinking. Nearly 1 and 1/2 years passed. Being responsible guardian his parents started searching for a girl for his marriage. We, the Indians, have seen so many films and TV serials about marriage and everywhere it is portrayed that girls are always the sufferers. All the stories are framed around girls and their families' problem that they face in marriage. We never think of the other part of the story. We just see the half of it.... through the glass of women. Since they know the art of crying, they get more sympathy and support from audience. Yash's parents saw many girls but were very careful. If after marriage, a girl gets a bad husband then it’s her loss. Her parents will be worried for her but will rarely be directly affected. Its like a part of them is in trouble. Where as if a guy gets a wrong girl, it spoils the family. It’s like whole the family in trouble. Well, Yash's parents saw many girls and finally selected 2 girls. Out of them yash agreed for one, Smita, who was working in as small sized S/W company. Till this point everything was normal. They went to see the girl at her house. They performed some rituals. The girl looked happy and both family were happy and most importantly our lad was happy. They exchanged for mobile nos. and left for their homes. Our yash, being a normal human, was sending his first SMS to her so-called WBM (wife before marriage). It’s been his second largest time that he took to type that message. Finally when he sent, before getting the acknowledgement of receipt he started expecting a reply, again a normal manly expectation. And not for your surprise...NO REPLY. Its normal, girls have to show their decency, he sent 2 more messages.... same result. He sent a good night message and then started waiting for next day. Next day he called her, she did not pick the phone. 2 -3 more attempts went into vain. He sent a message asking if there is any problem. NO REPLY. Men have natural tendency of showing authority. Her non-receival and no reply was an unseen attack on Yash's authority. He thought a lot. He thought that there might be some restrictions from family. But she could have received once. Let's call again. Thinking that he called again. It was evening 6:30 PM. She picked and behaved absolutely normal with some blend of reserve ness. As if it was some less important call or she knew him for long. She told that she was hesitant to talk to him and was not replying to his call. They talked about an hour. It was night 11:30 Yash was busy working on a high priority problem (it is kind of ritual that we s/w people perform every now and then). He was on call (on his landline no.) with his US counterpart and suddenly his cell phone rings...Wow smita calling.... what to do.... hmmm.... If I don't receive, what would she think...how will I talk to her leaving the work incomplete.... what the status of work I will give tomorrow in office ...thousands of thought came in his mind and all this until his cell phone stopped ringing. He asked for 10-minute break from his US counterpart and then called back smita. Smita: Hello Yash: Hi, wassup (heart started beating little faster). Smita: Did I wake you up? Yash: Not et all. I was working on an issue. Smita: Oh. OK, I wont disturb you. Yash: No no ...Tell me...anything or everything (forgot about the call...) Smita: I wanted to say something about our relation...can you do me a favor...Yash: sure (a mixture of emotions passed on his face...he was puzzled and wanted to resolve it very soon to relieve his fastest beating heart.) Smita: I know you will feel bad, but Yash.... please reject this marriage...I love some one and my parents are forcing me to marry you. Yash: (with Chocked throat, finding difficult to breath, heart beating took a sinusoidal move in negative direction...it almost stopped beating) OK...who's the lucky fellow? Smita: He is our family friend and from different cast. Yash: And your parents know about this? Smita: My parents know about our affair. Yash: Ok, then why don't you reject the marriage...and even if I reject this....your parents will force you to marry someone else!!! What will you achieve if I reject you. Smita: I am confused...I don't know what to do...
Smita: Please don't tell my brother about our conversation. He will kill me.
Yash: And what about me. What would I say to my parents and relatives? What about my feelings, why did you accept this marriage in presence of whole bunch of people? You could have told that moment itself that you didn't like me and rejected
the proposal at the very beginning.

Yash: Smita!! Are you there?

No reply, she put down the phone.

His 10-minute deadline already exceeded. He got to fix the production problem he had in his hand. This is a real pain of being a professional. Your work doesn't look at your problems. The show must go on. Few people may call it slavery. I do not disagree. We (the S/W professionals) are Slaves and in good words you can say we are good professionals. Doesn’t matter what name you give it, slavery or professionalism.

He couldn't sleep over night. He was like a wounded bird. Such a filmy incident can happen in real life? He was shocked and surprised. As per normal human behavior, in such kind of incidents, a man first gets shocked then sorrowly surprised and then closes himself into a box. This box is gloomy, lonely... and in this box, sometime he exhibits impulsive anger, followed by a realization to of the situation. Why this happened to me? why she did not think of my condition before doing so... He lite a Navy cut and started thinking of all the bad things happened to him. As the burnt nicotine was entering in his lungs, pain of this incident was filling his heart. He couldn't stop. He started crying. Night 3 O'clock. Soothing wave of Bangalore... every single creature was dead asleep. Our social and local guards (Dogs) also decided to take a break from patrolling of their areas... Yash was weeping inconsolably...

Next day in office was too hectic to think of anything. His eyes were swollen. To poke some fun at workplace I said dude... weekend party on weekdays. What did you drink? He laughed just to complete the formality. Evening 8 O'clock... he completed his work and left for the day... on his way to home his mind got a chance to point back to last nights incident. When he reached home, he was fully angry... what the hell... what does she think of her... she has no rights to spoil my life... why I am so upset... why don't I call and tell her brother everything… and Smita's brother's phone rung.

Another disaster was round the corner. But this time Smita faced it. Probably she got tortured and beaten up by her brother and father and then they emotionally blackmailed her. Whole night the two families were unrest. Yash called his parents and told about the incident. His father was shocked... not because what happened... he was seeing the next problem. He already had told all his relatives and friends about the marriage. What would he answer to them? He decided to withdraw this marriage proposal. On his morning walk next day... he told his walk mates about the incident, and called Smita's father:

Smita's Father: Hello Sir! How are you (as if nothing has happened)
Yash's Father: I am good. (And came to the point) You must be knowing about the circumstances now. We must not engage into this relation.
Smita's Father: No No sir. She if a so dear kid and afraid of marriage. She doesn't want to leave parents home that’s why she made all the stories. Nothing is true. Believe me.
Yash's Father: I don't know who is cooking the stories... lets Yash and Smita decide about the future of this relation.
Smita's father: Ok.

Morning 9'O clock. Yash's cell rings.

Yash: ... ... ... (silence)
Smita: (in a troubled voice, as if she was crying) I told you not to tell all these to my brother. Why did you do so.
Yash: Why what happened?
Smita: nothing (she started crying loudly over the phone.)
Yash: hey what's wrong???
Smita: (controlling herself) can we meet today? after an hour at MG road?
Yash: (thought and decided to go office after meeting her) ok.

10 O clock. Yasha reached MG road. she was already there. She was ready with her short and precise speech. They went to old coffee day and ordered for 2 coffee. Smita broke the ice
Smita: If I forget my past, will you marry me?
This was a yaksh prashna (a very difficult question) for Yash. He didn't answer and asked a question in return.
Yash: Do you like me?
Smita: You are a good guy. I don't dislike you and later, after marriage, probably I will like you. I can't guarantee that but I will try.
Yash: Hmm... I can understand that. But now I guess your brother is forcing you to marry me... Right?
Smita: Yes, eventually all the arranged marriages are forced one but they proved to be stable than love marriages. Now my brother's decision is mine. I promise to keep you happy and will never allow my past to interfere in our lives.
Yash spent 2 minutes to finish his coffee. He thought "I also have a past... we both are same..."
Yash: Ok Smita. If you are ready to forget everything, I have no problem. I will talk to my parents.

Now situation was really difficult. Yash, Smita and Smita's family ready for this relation but not Yash's parents.

Next day. He did go to his regular morning walk. He had little pain in his right shoulder. He called Yash and said that he is going to withdraw the proposal of marriage. Yash said no, please don't do that. She is a good girl. I want to marry her.
Father said ' beta she loves someone else, what's guarantee that she will be faithful to you? Yasha said " no she wont do so, she will be faithful to me and will take a very good care of our family, she has promised. Father: But I have told all these to every one in my circle. What will they think of us? Don’t be selfish… think of family too Yash: Who asked you to tell all such family matters to your friends? And he cut the phone.

He was little angry with his father. He got ready and went to office.
We met at lunch; he was happy and singing a local song. His phone rings... mom calling. He received the phone and without listening to her, he said, "I will call you back". We finished lunch and then went to work. He got bunch of production problems to solve and forgot to call her mom. Evening 7 O'clock. Mom calls again... Ah...I forgot to call her...

Yash: hello mom...
Mom: (in a breaking voice) Beta you did not call back... you father is dieing.
Yash: (almost about to fall) wa.. what happend
Mom: (in a nervous voice). We are at Jaydeva Hospital. Come soon... doctor says he had a heart attack.

He went there. Doc said that he (his father) would have to undergo a heart surgery. Cost is 2 and half lacks. Yash had no money... he took personal loan of 2 and half lacks. One week, he was completely busy in taking loan and his father’s operation. He didn't come to office. One he went to hospital with food for her mom. Mom said I want to talk to you.
“Do you know why all this happened. Because of you. don't marry that girl beta... she will kill us...” and started crying badly... keeping her head on Yash's shoulder. Yash was silent.

Such allegation will hurt the cruelest person on this earth. He became very silent. There was a hurricane of sadness inside but from outside, he was silent. He was not calm... he was silent.

After 3 days his father got discharged from hospital. The entire relatives and friends cam to see him at his home. They were asking his father about his experience of heart attack. Yash was standing there. Suddenly he got up and called Smita's father and said “I can't marry your girl. Please don't ask for reason...” kept the phone

He saved his family. His father was relaxed now. His mom took a breath of easiness. Relatives and friends welcomed the decision. He came out of house. 5:30 evening. Sun was being pulled by ropes of time. Birds were satisfied with their day's effort and going back to nest. Everything was settling down. He lite a navy cut... puff over puffs… now there is no uncertainty... only a non-stop silence...

No one saw his pain, neither his family, nor Smita, nor smita's parents nor the relatives. He was a obvious culprit of breaking the marriage, heart attack of his father and Smita's pain. His mother blamed him for father heart attack, Father blamed him for being selfish Smita blamed him for everything.

Friends this is a true incident and I guess a common one now a days...